Key Takeaways

• Set expectations.
• De-stigmatize the subject matter.
• Know your boundaries.

Discussing sexual health —which includes, but isn’t limited to topics like STIs, consent, boundaries, and our reproductive organs—with someone new can feel hard. But these talks are an essential part of a healthy sex life, and there are plenty of ways to do it that won’t kill the mood. Here are some ideas for how to approach the topic with a new partner(s).

Put the “we” in sexual wellness

It’s not you against them in these conversations. It’s the two of you together. We suggest coming at it with a “to keep things safe and fun for both of us, let’s chat about sexual health.”

Set expectations

Rather than springing questions on the other person, consider offering information first and setting expectations. Try something like, “I’ve been prioritizing my sexual health and just wanted to let you know that I’ve been tested recently.” This way, you’re showing that you share the responsibility with them, and you’re also letting them know it’s a safe space to be vulnerable.

De-stigmatize the subject matter

If the person you’re talking to is feeling uncomfortable, let them know they’re not alone. Consider mentioning that STIs are super common and you recognize there’s often stigma concerning STIs, even though there shouldn’t be.

The key to advocating for your sexual health is to try to make your partner(s) feel comfortable and accepted, no matter what. This type of conversation is worth it for your peace of mind, and it will likely help you relax and enjoy the sex that much more.